Not Enough Breastmilk?

Do you know the symbol for adoption? It's a triangle intertwined in a heart. I have this symbol tattooed on my back. My tattoo is filled with symbols, words and pictures close to my heart. The reason I share this is because I had a very big convo with Lil Rev about adoption tonight. I have a daughter. Not my Precious Baby, but a precious 12 year old girl whom I love dearly. I placed her for open adoption at birth and am blessed to have an incredible relationship with her and her Adoptive Mom. Long story short =I was in an abusive relationship and made the hardest, most difficult decision to protect my daughter - at all costs. Even if it cost me my happiness, my sanity (at the time), my esteem... anything for my daughter. I have always had a picture of my beautiful daughter and I in R home and Lil Rev has never really noticed, asked or cared about any of our dozens of pictures displayed, until tonight. He asked me who that girl was, and the convo went like this:
Me: She's a very special girl (hoping he would just leave it at that. The convo has never come up so I've never told him about his 1/2 sister)
Lil Rev (LR): why is she special?
Me: (ok, we're going there...heart starts pounding) Because she is my daughter, she's your sister.  I had her before you were born and before I met Daddy.
LR: Why doesn't she live with us? Is she {Precious Baby's} sister too?
Me: Yes, she is your 1/2 sister, because you have the same Mom, Me. She doesn't live with us because she lives with another family. Do you know what adoption is?
LR: No, what does that mean?
Me: Well adoption is when a Mom has someone else take care of her child forever. The child then has a new Mom and family. When I had the baby, I couldn't take care of her at that time. So I placed her for adoption.
LR: Why, because you didn't have enough breast milk? (my favorite part of the convo!)
Me: No, it's difficult to explain but her Dad was very mean to me and I wanted to protect her from him.
LR: Oh, were you married to him?
Me: (GULP - totally against what I've been trying to brainwash him with) No.
LR: Why was he mean, did he say mean things to you?
Me: well, yes and other stuff too that I can tell you more about when you get older. But I made a very hard decision for her to live with another Mom so I could protect her. She is safe and happy with her Mom and family.
Lil Rev: Oh, did her Mom have breast milk?
Me: Well, actually a woman's body only makes breast milk if she grows a baby in her tummy. Since her Mom did not grow your sister in her tummy, her body did not make breast milk. She had formula as a baby.
Lil Rev: oh. ok.
... and off to save the world with his sword, machete and superhero costume.


  1. You are an amazing woman. I am so happy you shared that with us. Thank you for being the woman you are and letting us into your world.

  2. Thank you so much for your support and kind words!!